the condom got lost in my hair
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
