I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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