Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
