Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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