It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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