Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it's great music for shaving your balls
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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