my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
These tits shall not be calmed
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