No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
