And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
