please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
