I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
