I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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