OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
