Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
are you so shy because you have an std?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
