My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
