we're chasing vodka with high fives
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
