Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You dont lie about slip and slides
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
