Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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