new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
