Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
