YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
