Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
