is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
