So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
