So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
