In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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