he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
