I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i now understand why vodka
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
