I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
