I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
