I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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