So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
