Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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