he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
