i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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