Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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