When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
