He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Too much gin, very little bucket
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
