i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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