did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
