i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize