Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
