My ATM looks so different sober.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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