I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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