Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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