Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't deserve a penis
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
