Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
