Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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