I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
