I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
