this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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