is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
