Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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